Distress

How terrible it is to have caused Christ such distress. If there is anything worse than being distressed, it is having caused it for someone else. Let alone someone perfect. But the blessing is that he does not hold it against me.

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."

Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

Returning the third time, he said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!" -Mark 14:32-42

It is troubling enough to find that I am the cause of that grief. It is even more troubling to find myself nodding along with Jesus in the first paragraph. I think, yes I know what it feels like to be distressed to the point it feels like death. But no, I don't. It is only in my arrogance that I find myself any more than a disciple in this story.

Failing to watch. Failing to pray. I do not know what to say. This is me.

Looking at Jesus so full of sorrow must have been such a humbling experience for his disciples. I pray that it is a humbling experience for me.

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